Assignment #2: Feedback A

Written Feedback from Olivia

Jack

One, you said that you believe in "...one thing that I believe in is guns and and the new gun laws restricting the use of some of the guns and ammo." So, you're saying that you believe in guns and that you believe in the new gun laws restricting guns? But, in the rest of your paragraph you're talking about how you find the new laws as an inconvenience and etc. Also, if you're going to not capitalize the first letter in a sentence, then carry that out through your whole post. It'd probably be "best" if you capitalized them all, but sometimes it looks cool. Sorry. Not trying to be picky, just offering feedback. Just be consistent in what you do and say. :)

David

A very nice post coming from the heart. I would have just added more about why you want to do all that.

Bell

Haha, Bell. Great post and some very valid points. Yet, it was very funny. Keep it up! :) 

Shelby

I agree with your a lot you had to say. It's so sad when people judge so quickly. But, you say that you're so against "stereotypes" and then go on to stereotype that 'it's the self-righteous and 'swagged-out' teens, that push people to the point where they truly believe they have no self worth." While that's not always the case. So, watch out for contradictions in your writing.

Liam

Great, straight forward post. I'd just challenge you to ask yourself the question "Can a 15 year old believe in God?" And I mean a  true life saving belief. But, I do agree that there are some topics that many teenagers haven't experienced, so they can't make a solid backed up believe. I'd also like to know when you think someone is old enough to actually form their own beliefs and really believe them.  So, interesting point of view. 

Samantha

General guidelines for arguing or stating anything you believe, is that you need to list and explain reasons why you believe what you believe. The only reason you list for the fact that you believe that "you cannot be bisexual" is that you don't understand it. But, I'm sure that you have more reasons that support you in making such an assertive statement than I just don't understand. Oh, and very cute picture at the end.

Ruth

Interesting post, Ruth! I liked what you had to say. I just really think that GIF's to the side are really too big and a bit distracting.

Jordan

Hm.. interesting standpoint, and nicely written. But, why do you believe in Unicorns? I may have read this wrong, but from what I understood you were more just stating the fact that they have existed, do exist and will continue to exist. But, I want to know why you believe in them, and not just that you do. :)

Josh

Oh my goodness! I loved this so much. You had great subject material, and also, your blog's appearance is not busy, which is something as a reader, I really appreciate.

Kacie

I really like your post. A lot of schools do have weak art programs. It's sad that when a school faces a smaller budget, it's often time that the art programs get cut, as if they were the expendable course. I would advise you to work on a stronger ending to your paragraph. Your last sentence left me wanting to discuss rebellion among teenagers. Oh, and change the font color. But, overall, I loved it! Great stuff!

Jonathan

"Pursuing your passion." I like that line. I think a lot of people let go of what they love due to finding a job that pays more or whatever. It's sad. Or when people's ideas are shut down. It's like the people who said humans would never be able to fly. Look now, people are flying in planes or those cliff jumping suit guys who glide around.

John Sun

I never gave that much thought about headphones before this. Your blog looks amazing. Crazy cool stuff. Just maybe work on the colors of your fonts, it's just super busy. Using different colors is great, but when it makes it hard read,  it can take away some of the attention to what you're actually saying.

 

Allen

 

 

It's great that your so dedicated about something. Just remember, there's a difference between passion and addiction. Not saying you are addicted, but gaming is something that is addicting. There are connections beyond the internet, like interpersonal connections that you actually might miss out on if you spend so much time on the computer. But, again you could probably say that about anything. Also, you say that your game teaches you how to talk to people. I'm just wondering how that really happens. I see them as two completely different things.

 

Bobbie 

Bobbie! I'm so happy you wrote about this. Maybe you could talk more about the negative effects of not having a mentor. That might be a nice addition to your post. :)